一月六日,星期二,又病了。距離上次才一個月。全身疲憊酸痛,覺得身體很不爭氣。吃了藥,一覺後確實好了許多。
一月八日,星期四,零下五度。鹿特丹一片霧濛濛的,Capelle也是。傍晚回家途中,Erasmusbrug的橋身隱蔽在霧裡。頭一回,這象徵家的座標消失在河岸旁。眼前所見,只剩前方微弱的車燈和路燈。連建築都溶解在霧中。
一月九日,星期五。每早車窗依舊結了薄冰,得佔據數分鐘的晨間冷冽剷去它。草地上覆蓋著霜,樹都變成白色的。零下七度,但真的有差別嗎?不還是穿著一樣的衣服。越過一個界限後,心理變得比生理更有感知能力。
I can see clearly now, the rain is gone
I can see all obstacles in my way
Gone are the dark clouds that had me blind
It's gonna be a bright, bright, sunshiny day
霧散了。手握著方向盤,鼻頭一陣酸,因為Hothouse Flowers把I Can See Clearly Now翻唱得誠懇。
I think I can make it now, the pain is gone
All of the bad feelings have disappeared
Here is the rainbow I've been praying for
It's gonna be a bright, bright, sunshiny day
穿過Kralingen林區,遠方雲層後透出曙光。晚間把這歌反覆聽了十來次。天氣沒有辦法被改變,但心情可以。心態也可以。
Look all around, there's nothing but blue skies
Look straight ahead, nothing but blue skies
一月十日,星期六。起床走出臥房,陽光穿過落地窗灑在客廳的地板。氣溫未知。拿起吉他,試著琢磨怎麼彈奏I Can See Clearly Now。還沒找到滿意的方式,但確信是我迎接了週末,而不是它來找到我。
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